• "Our book of the year!"

    Sorted Magazine

  • "Andy is a star!"


  • "4 stars ****"

    3 Weeks

  • "A tremendous book"

    James Cary

  • "Kind is terrific"

    The Scotsman

Category - General Writings

Pre-emptive World Cup Headlines…

It’s nearly here! So here is my prophetic story of the World Cup journey, and my prediction on how our boys will fare – through the narrative device of terrible tabloid puns. #preemptiveworldcupheadlines Build-up ‘Foster went to Gloucester’: Reserve keeper misses plane to Brazil after losing satnav. ‘I thought I’d said “Stones”’: Roy confused to…

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The 10 Stages of Writing New Material

Stage 1: Excitement Excitement that you’ve actually sat down to write a new joke instead of sitting in your pants, bidding online for cattle.  In your mind you’ve suddenly ranked up on the comedic ladder. You’ve notched yourself up the comedy pecking order. This joke alone means that promoters will start to call you, and…

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‘I wear former contestants as clothes’, jokes Cowell…

I thought I’d have a stab at one of those spoof news stories you see all over the place these days. So I did. I meant to do more, but never have.   Ever wondered what happens to former X-factor finalists after the show ends? Well, in a startling revelation, magnesium-teethed pop-uncle Simon Cowell has…

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How to make sure your Comedy Night is totally crap…

Here is an article I wrote for people thinking of setting up a Comedy Night. Are you thinking of running a comedy night at a venue near you? Want it to be devastatingly terrible? We’ve compiled some top tips to help ensure that your comedy night is totally crap. Venue: Venue is the first thing…

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Sorted Magazine 2 – Gaming

I used to write for the fantastic Sorted Magazine, which you can find out about here: www.sorted-magazine.com. Here is one of the articles I wrote for them:    When I was a child, I used to love playing on the Commodore 64. The games were basic, but they were fun for a boy of 7. My…

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