• "Kind is terrific"

    The Scotsman

  • "A tremendous book"

    James Cary

  • "Our book of the year!"

    Sorted Magazine

  • "Andy is a star!"

    www.bbc.co.uk

  • "4 stars ****"

    3 Weeks

Blogs

Pre-emptive World Cup Headlines…

It’s nearly here! So here is my prophetic story of the World Cup journey, and my prediction on how our boys will fare – through the narrative device of terrible tabloid puns. #preemptiveworldcupheadlines Build-up ‘Foster went to Gloucester’: Reserve keeper misses plane to Brazil after losing satnav. ‘I thought I’d said “Stones”’: Roy confused to…

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The 10 Stages of Writing New Material

Stage 1: Excitement Excitement that you’ve actually sat down to write a new joke instead of sitting in your pants, bidding online for cattle.  In your mind you’ve suddenly ranked up on the comedic ladder. You’ve notched yourself up the comedy pecking order. This joke alone means that promoters will start to call you, and…

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‘I wear former contestants as clothes’, jokes Cowell…

I thought I’d have a stab at one of those spoof news stories you see all over the place these days. So I did. I meant to do more, but never have.   Ever wondered what happens to former X-factor finalists after the show ends? Well, in a startling revelation, magnesium-teethed pop-uncle Simon Cowell has…

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Rubbish Fight Club…

Living in Moss Side is great. When we first moved here, I was, I confess, slightly concerned by all the rumours of gang violence associated with the area. The estate agent had told us that ‘the gangs only attack other gangs’, which was meant to sound reassuring but only unnerved me further. I mean, how…

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An Open Letter to One Direction…

Colin Wormwood is in his middle age. He has very definite ideas about what should and shouldn’t be allowed. He likes to share these ideas with the people who annoy him – often people a lot more famous and successful than himself.   Dear One Direction, I finally got around to accidentally hearing one of…

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